As someone who loves a good hike in the woods, especially in the Pacific Northwest, the studies mentioned were both affirming and enlightening. Studies on the healing power of walking in the wilderness are woven into the autobiographical and biographical prose of Windswept. It’s just that I will ski, bobsled, and do all sorts of things despite my nerves incessant chatter. I’ll be taking those ski lessons for my safety and the safety of those around me rather than hurtling myself down a black diamond without the requisite skills, thank you. I have no plans to become careless or cavalier. As Abbs writes later on in the book, “…we must boldly venture out if we are to change within.” It’s hard to become more than one is without embracing new experiences. If a self is not a thing, what am I protecting? If becoming is the point, perhaps my death grip on life’s handlebars isn’t helpful. Abbs’s words, written in her remarkable book, Windswept: Walking the Paths of Trailblazing Women, shifted the tectonic plates beneath my emotional landscape. Like fear and panic, I’ve always prioritized self-preservation, and homeostasis. Both my husband and my brother were surprised by my lack of hysterical thinking. When fear and panic attempted to dissuade me from bobsledding, ziplining, skiing, snowmobiling, and gondola riding, the words of Annabel Abbs helped me charge forward with uncharacteristic calm. “Remember this: a self is not a thing, but a becoming – on and on until we die.” These are the words from Windswept that I’ve carried with me on our Whistler adventures.
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